This is something very personal and private for me that I've been hesitant to post about anywhere else except here.
Long story short, I am trapped in a relationship that I cannot leave unless I want to be homeless. I live with my boyfriend at the moment and because we both have our names on all the credit card and bank accounts, and he cut up all the cards, I can't get away and access them and run away.
I don't know what to do, i want to leave, but the only way I could do that is if I became homeless, he ultimately has control over the money so I can't get it.
Help?

Do you have a job?Can you get money out of the bank?

i have job but he takes my paychecks and contrls the money.

do you have any friends or family you can stay with? this guy sounds nuts! run away fast! pack up a bag and make a break for it!

Sounds like you might need some help. Leave on payday.

i have job but he takes my paychecks and contrls the money.call the nearest crisis center and tell them what's happening. they can help.

Thats awful. Is it not possible to stay with a friends for a few weeks while you get things sorted?

Find a shelter and go, fast. Don't let him know you're thinking about it-like don't let him see you packing or anything. He could get dangerous. You might have to leave a lot of stuff behind. If you have bank accounts, you can go inside the bank and get money out without a card.

Do everything they said plus a Personal Order of Protection if he has ever hurt you or has threatened to hurt you. Go as soon as possible, it will only get worse if you wait.

"He takes my paychecks".oooo-bad.Some things happen so slowly that you wake up and find yourself in a bad situation.This sounds like one of those.If someone was doing that to my daughter,he would have a big problem.Hope you have some friends or someone to help you and watch your back.Carrying pepper spray would be a positive after you get out.Lesson learned:give NO ONE control of your hard earned money or control of your life.You deserve better.As tht said--a shelter would be good.They are usually well hidden and will help.

Sorry to hear about your sad situation. Looks like you hooked up with a complete jerk.
Get an order of protection, maybe get some free legal advice on how to deal with your financial mess you got into, and gather the support of family and friends.

Best of luck.

Has anything happened?

just dealing with it now... still good

I agree with those who say call a shelter---they help, friends who have had to deal with similar situations have found them good. They can guide you to other help.

Most places have shelters for abused women. I lived in one for a while. If you have to leqave with only the clothes on your back..................go anyway. All the things you leave behind can be replaced. Let me know how things work out.

for everyone wondering, things are getting better. We've been working things out, and aside from a few little explosions we're doing ok.
I would never go to a shelter though. I'm better than that. The women who live at the shelter here are all a bunch of smelly tweakers.

for everyone wondering, things are getting better. We've been working things out, and aside from a few little explosions we're doing ok.
I would never go to a shelter though. I'm better than that. The women who live at the shelter here are all a bunch of smelly tweakers.
Smelly tweakers ? That's kind of cold. These women don't want to be there. Most of them have no choice. They are victims circumstance. Running from a bad situation. They need support not run down. Anyway I'm glad things are better for you.

Peace

you must not live in my town...
Most of them are total tweakers; they come into my work asking for free food, they reek and harass everyone else. Yuck... reminds me of the people i went to school with and lived with at my foster home... sorry, I'm more independent then that, I have more dignity then being associated with them.

Obviously I am not from your town. Maybe we are talking about different kinds of shelters. The ones for abused and threatened women usually don't send people out looking for food. Well the important thing is you are ok now.

Peace

actually im not ok now. he just kicked me out. if anyone can give helpful advice, (760) 707-8587

Can you go back to your foster home and regroup? How about relatives any you can trust ? Friends ? You need time to get yourself together and move on.

Peace

I would never go to a shelter though. I'm better than that. The women who live at the shelter here are all a bunch of smelly tweakers.wow....that is completely cold and a horrible thing to say. that is all. But I will recommend now that you have nothing, to go check one of those shelters out, you'll fit right in..

http://www.azvictims.com/domestic/services.asp

http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/azdv.shtml (scroll down a little for some of the shelters designed to help people get back on their feet after domestic abuse)

http://www.distel.ca/womlist/countries/usa/arizona.html

you dont have to go to one, but call them, and hear what they have to say. could be helpful

wow....that is completely cold and a horrible thing to say. that is all. But I will recommend now that you have nothing, to go check one of those shelters out, you'll fit right in..
I said the same thing. But I think she was upset. Now she needs help and positive feed back.

Peace

http://www.azvictims.com/domestic/services.asp

http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/states/azdv.shtml (scroll down a little for some of the shelters designed to help people get back on their feet after domestic abuse)

http://www.distel.ca/womlist/countries/usa/arizona.html

you dont have to go to one, but call them, and hear what they have to say. could be helpful
shes right, even if you dont go they have resources to help u recover your accounts to get on your feet they can often set u up in a hotel a few days

when u call back i'll have some1 for you to talk too too shes at work right now though

..gimme an hour..i'll have somewhere ya can go

thanks for everyone's help... things have been resolved, thank you.

thanks for everyone's help... things have been resolved, thank you.
So does that mean that he let you come back?

I must say that I took offense to the comments you made about "tweekers and shelters" Re-examine your statement.............."I'm better than that." While I do not consider myself any better than you or anywone else...........I sure dont think you're any better than me. We are all equal in God's eyes.

Funny how you continue to post elsewheres and dont explain to the rest of the forum what the resolution was.
Seems like you comment to the Veteran of Foreign Wars to keep them updated on your..... Give peace a chance crap.
But hope you had a nice and free Memorial Day. Thanks to us Vets..

PEACE>ha ha yeah right...

Hey call or email the dude in the highway child, You were planning to go anyway, they will understand,,and help you. Tell your boss you cannot have your check direct deposited,for personal reasons, then go to the bank where the cards are from, and try to get your own cards, just remember how happy you were just thinking of going with the bus tribe. You may have to go earlier than thought.

peace& love from willow 2

you must not live in my town...
Most of them are total tweakers; they come into my work asking for free food, they reek and harass everyone else. Yuck... reminds me of the people i went to school with and lived with at my foster home... sorry, I'm more independent then that, I have more dignity then being associated with them.

Having your boyfriend control all of your money doesn't sound very independent to me.

my wife works in a shelter for battered women .....her advice to you would be leave and get as far away from him as far you can ........she deals with women who have spent their whole lives being controled and manipulated by their ,and i do mean the term loosely,better half ...things will not get better..nothing worse for a person's self esteem than an abusive spouse or mate